You could learn all the sex tips and techniques in the world, but sometimes what women – and men – really need to turn up the passion is a little romance. Flowers, dinners and dates all get people in the mood for sex, but these may not always be practical – or affordable – so here are some simple tips to try.

Studies show that when women mentally rehearse for sex, they show quicker and stronger responses once the action actually starts. A sexy email, phone call or note left for your lover describing all the wonderful things you plan on doing to her later should get her mind working in overdrive.

Setting a particular time aside for sex or scheduling a ‘sex date’ may not seem very spontaneous, but if both partners are busy, stressed and tired, it’s a good idea. Try doing something special such as dressing up or opening a bottle of champagne to make it more of an event.

Share a warm bath. Heat helps get rid of tension and bathing together helps couples to connect in a sensual way. Grooming techniques are used by animals to bond so try washing each other’s hair or shaving one another.

Spend time on foreplay.The Kinsey Institute found that when women received over 20 minutes of foreplay, nearly 93% of them experienced orgasm. If you can devote some of those twenty minutes to a sensual body rub, even better!

Couples who have been together long-term know one another ‘hot’ buttons and sometimes tend to concentrate on these while ignoring less obvious erogenous zones. Try slowing down the pace initially and spending time exploring your lover’s entire body.

Women often complain that their partners don’t touch them unless they are initiating sex. Bad move, boys! Studies have shown that couples that engage in non-sexual touching as well have better, more fulfilling sex.

Lie naked together, arms wrapped around each other with your stomachs and thighs touching. Harmonise your breathing. After about half and hour you should feel a warm rush from the centre of your body. Don’t try this if you’re tired – chances are you’ll fall asleep before you get to the good stuff.

Couples in long-term relationships stop kissing. Long sensual kisses are one of the simplest ways to get your partner in the mood.

Kissing

Gentle kisses all over the body help you locate sensitive spots.

Licking

Start at the neck and ears and work your way down the body.

Touching

The skin is the largest erogenous zone and highly receptive to touch so don’t just concentrate on the obvious parts of your partner’s body.

Scratching

A lot of men and women enjoy a lightly scratching sensation, particularly over the back and buttocks. Be gentle, unless asked for something a little harder.

Pinching

There is a fine line between pleasure and pain, and slightly painful sensations such as pinching can be a huge turn-on. Don’t pinch too hard, unless requested.

Biting

The ears, neck, inner thighs, breasts or buttocks are the most receptive zones for sensual biting. But pay attention to your partner’s responses, you don’t want to make this more pain than pleasure or leave tell-tale marks.

Spanking

Some people love being “punished” and the buttocks are full of never endings – both good reasons why spanking is a huge source of pleasure for many of us.

Vibrators

A sensual massage with a vibrator can make it a lot easier for women to orgasm.

Blowing

Try blowing on the neck, ears and along the back.To create a cooling sensation, lick the area first and then blow.

Hot and Cold

Try hot and cool sensations across the skin.Warming and cooling lubricants, hot and cold drinks, ice cubes and hot wax. You decide.

Couples with busy lives often spend too little time on foreplay. It’s easy to see how this happens. If you have to be up early to make the children breakfast, drop them at school and commute to work, you probably feel you don’t have the time or energy to spend ages on foreplay. You may dispense with it almost entirely or just use the tried and trusted tricks you know your partner enjoys. 

Unfortunately this is a route to sexual boredom. No matter how good something is it will get dull if you never vary it. Furthermore, most women need foreplay if they are going to reach orgasm. Foreplay doesn’t have to begin when you get to the bedroom. You can get your partner in the mood by a suggestive phone call during the day, whispered sweet nothings and kisses while you are cooking or by taking a bath or shower together. You don’t have to spend hours on foreplay to make it interesting. Sometimes concentrating on a new part of the body or doing something new or different can be exciting in itself.

The human body is full of erotic zones – some of which are obvious, others get overlooked. Try these out on your partner and see which ones work.

EROGENOUS ZONES 

Face 

Eyelids, eyebrows, temples and cheeks can all be erotically charged and it feels extremely intimate to be gently touched or kissed here.

Lips 

A good kiss is your first physical line of seduction. Use your lips, tongue and teeth to kiss, suck and gently bite. 

Neck 

The nape of the neck and the throat are extremely sensitive to kissing, licking, sucking, stroking and breathing.

Ears

The earlobes and the area behind the ear are both highly sensitive, sometimes too sensitive. Licking, sucking, stroking and breathing can all be pleasurable. Some people love tonguing/blowing in their ears, but these are not universally popular.

Hair and head

This is a gentle erogenous zone. Try stroking the hair and massaging the head. Some women love having their hair pulled (careful how you do this), particularly if you do it in a way that suggests you’re overcome with horniness. 

Shoulders, arms, wrists and hands

Massage, stroke or gently scratch. Many people love to have their fingers sucked and their wrists nibbled and kissed.

The armpit

Kiss, stroke and even lick, just don’t tickle!

Breasts and nipples

This area is sensitive in women, less so in men. In women, don’t just zone in on the nipples – the whole breast is sensitive and the sides and underneath respond well to licking and stroking; nipples can be super-sensitive so start gently.

Ankles, feet, toes and soles

Rub, kiss and suck.

The back

Massage, stroking, kissing all work. The spine can be particularly sensitive. Don’t forget to hold or stroke the back when actually having sex.

Behind the knees

The back of the knees is full of nerve endings making it an erogenous hotspot, but also very ticklish.

Inner thighs

The inner thighs are full of nerve endings and very sensitive. Touch, stroke, kiss and lick.

Bottom

Less sensitive than breasts because it contain muscles as well as fat. Holding, kneading, patting, squeezing and spanking can all work. The anus itself is full of sensitive nerve endings. 

Perineum

The perineum is the area between your genitals and your butt. Gently push or lick the area rhythmically.

Prostate and G-Spot

Both can be stimulated using a ‘come here’ gesture, although the G-Spot can remain elusive.

Genitals

This area is sensitive for everybody! Most women need some clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.