Sex is a vital part of every happy relationship. A good sex life keeps you bonded, connected and intimate. Unfortunately sex is also an area that can cause problems for couples.
There is no way around this basic fact – the longer you are together as a couple, the more effort you have to put into your sex life. Remember the first year or two you were together? Chances are you couldn’t get enough of one another. Only a very small percentage of extremely lucky couples can sustain that kind of sexual excitement without any work. That’s the bad news.
The good news is that as long as you are prepared to put in some effort, keep an open mind and communicate your needs and desires to your partner, there is no reason why your sex life shouldn’t be just as fulfilling ten or twenty years down the line. In fact, it could be even better than it is now, with several years of intimacy between you.
Most of us wonder if other people are having better and more exciting sex than we are. After reading magazines and newspapers you could be forgiven for thinking that thousands of couples are swinging from the chandeliers every night. The truth is most of us aren’t! Don’t be tempted to compare your sex life to what you imagine are the sex lives of other couples or celebrities. Focus on what makes you and your partner happy. For example, if sex twice a week is perfect for you and your partner, don’t think you are doing something wrong by not having it daily. People’s needs and desire are different and your sex life has to be satisfying for you, not fulfil some arbitrary criteria from a magazine.
Tips and tricks found in magazines can give you ideas, but if they don’t appeal to you both, there is no point. If using handcuffs holds no interest for either of you, why bother? Having said that, it is also important to keep an open mind especially if your partner is curious to try something new and you are not so sure. As long as this doesn’t involve grievous bodily harm, the possibility of being arrested or another person, it’s generally a good idea to give it a go.
It is also a good idea to invest in a quality sex guide. There are hundreds available so have a look online and find one that appeals to you. Ideally, a sex guide should offer information on different positions and techniques to try and have illustrations that show you what to do. Adding something new to your repertoire is always fun. Don’t worry about ‘getting it right’ first time – sex is about intimacy and pleasure, it’s not about knowing every position in the Kama Sutra.