Very few women reach orgasm every time they have sex. It’s perfectly normal, although it can be disappointing. Product studies show that gels such as Play O can help, but there are a number of other things you can do to help yourself get there.
Trick your body
Get your partner to give you clitoral stimulation until you have almost reached the point of orgasm before he enters.The idea is to let the thrusting become the final orgasm trigger and build a “bridge” between clitoral stimulation and penetrative sex. According to the experts, up to 50% of women who couldn’t orgasm through intercourse alone managed to do so without clitoral stimulation after using this technique regularly.
Orgasm Triggers
A second trick is to develop your orgasm triggers.The act of smiling tells your brain that you are happy and this triggers the release serotonin, the hormone that makes you feel happy. You can use the same idea for orgasm. Learn to recognise the signals your body makes when orgasm is just round the corner – the sounds you make, way you move – and exaggerate them. The more your brain believes orgasm is approaching, the easier it is to achieve climax.
Kegel Execises
The PC muscle is the pubococcygeus muscles – bit of a mouthful. If you are not sure where this muscle is, it’s the one you’d use to stop the flow of pee in mid-stream. Exercising this muscle has many benefits such as preventing incontinence in later life! This is the muscle that you need to exercise to help you achieve orgasm on a more regular basis.These are known as Kegel exercises.
Find the PC muscle by trying to stop peeing mid-stream. Or you can insert a finger inside your vagina and squeeze the muscles. You should feel a tightening sensation.
In a sitting or standing position, clench your PC muscle. Hold for 5 seconds. Relax for 5 seconds. Repeat 5 times.
Work up to clenching the muscles for 10 seconds, taking a 10 second break in between each. Repeat three times a day.
Count to 10 (working up to 20). Clench and relax you PC muscle each time you say a number. Repeat 10 times.
You should notice a difference in 8 to 12 weeks. Don’t practice Kegel exercises with a full bladder or while emptying your bladder. This can weaken the muscles and increase your risk of a urinary tract infection.
Don’t focus on it
Ironically really wanting to have an orgasm, and the fear that you’ll disappoint your partner, can make you feel pressured and thus less likely to have one.
Spend time with your body
You need to know how your body responds to pleasure.This means spending quality time alone and stimulating your erogenous zones in various ways to find out what works for you. Sometimes this can be easier with a partner as you often have a stronger sexual response when someone else is touching you.
Mix it up
Add toys to your sex life, either alone or with a partner.There are hundreds of choices out there, so check out review sites before purchasing.
Fantasy
Allow yourself to explore sexual fantasies while with your partner. Fantasies can increase your level of arousal and make you more aware of the sensations your body is feeling. If you feel comfortable enough with your partner, it can be very satisfying to act out various fantasy scenarios. If not, feel free to play your own erotic movie in your head.
Let go
Relinquish control and allow your body to experience the physical and emotional sensations of sex. Many women have difficulty reaching orgasm simply because they are suspicious of pleasure and thus don’t allow themselves to feel it.
Communicate
Don’t be shy about telling your partner want kind of stimulation you want and how much. Many women have penetrative sex before they are ready because they worry they take “too long” to get turned on. There is no correct amount of time – all women are different.
